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I don't use hate lightly. [01 Mar 2010|12:19am]
[ mood | blah ]


Although, to be fair, my lovely coworkers keep me sane. This weekend I learned that Mother Teresa endulged in pornography between her charity work, statements like that don't go over well with Catholics, I'm a terrible person, more Star Wars history than I cared to know, cracked out homeless people like me, & even more stuff you probably don't care about. Also, my current voice sounds like a 14 year old boy going through puberty. It really catches people off guard. They don't seem to like it.

blahblahblah, I'm only writing here to avoid writing my paper for my horrible GE class. It's pretty horrible, more horrible than that one world religions class with the 90 year old professor. I regret not recording his lectures for days when I have insomnia. I'm actually kind of tired right now, that can't be good. Ok, I probably should start that paper. Boo.


2 comments|post comment

my country tis of theee [20 Jan 2009|11:28am]
[ mood | pleased ]

Look what I found:

My life has meaning now.

Today was a beautiful day. This is why I love America.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uq2VR77R3s. I want to marry Josh Groban's voice! President Obama has shown that many things are possible if you just believe. One day you will be able to refer to me as Mrs. Josh Groban's voice. It will be yet another beautiful day. Peace and love, yo.


1 comment|post comment

[27 Jun 2008|12:27am]
[ mood | awake ]

I'm not supposed to like the Jonas Brothers, but I can't stop watching this video...

..I am so lame.

4 comments|post comment

waiting for the mail... [13 Mar 2008|12:29pm]
[ mood | ... ]

Yesterday I almost ran over a cat. Freaked the hell out of me. If I had run it over it wouldn't have been my fault, but I would have felt terrible for the rest of my life. And I'd probably be cursed as the cat was black. The cat was obviously in the wrong, running across a major street with cars speeding in both directions, but whenever someone runs over a cute animal it's always the person's fault. For all we know the cat wanted to die, or rubbed up against a little too much catnip. Maybe it was blind. Who knows? Luckily I slowed down enough to avoid impact, and there were no cars behind me. Moments like this make me appreciate public transportation more. Sometimes people freak out when they find out I take the bus to school. Don't you have a car? No, I have a van, and it sucks. Even if I had a nice car, I don't know that I'd stop taking the bus. Sometimes it's just nice to sit back and appreciate the scenery (even if it is donut shops and taco trucks), watch the weirdos, or read a book. People can waste a good part of their life in traffic stressing out.

This summer my cousin is going to live with my family. She has an internship with an architecture firm in LA. My younger sister offered to share her room with her which seems almost too nice. I want to believe she is doing it out of the kindness of her heart, but I don't know. Are you getting paid? I mean my cousin is a great person, and my suspicions are not because of her. My family has this selfish gene. As much as we try to suppress it, it doesn't want to go away. (Which is understandable as it's a gene and all). Anyway it should be an interesting summer. I can see my parents trying to be extra nice and cool that by the end of the summer they'll probably just both explode. I think I'm going to take a class or two at a community college over summer. I just need to make sure they transfer over to the university. My older sister said she would take a photography class with me, so that should be fun. I can't believe she's graduating in a week. She's not going to her graduation ceremony because she doesn't want to have to pay to be at something she'd rather not be at. Instead she's going to buy Rock Band. I'm a bit disappointed as I wanted to go, but like I said she's buying Rock Band. Besides my mom's graduating too and she's planning on attending her graduation ceremony. My mom never finished getting her master's degree, and I think it's always bothered her, so she went for it. I'm proud.

Well that's enough rambling for today. I'll leave you with a video first seen on my younger sisters’ favorite new show, Showbiz India. I watch this video when I am stressed out, and it definitely helps. I know midterms and finals are fast approaching, so enjoy.

you are the one (dil di nazar)


11 comments|post comment

Hi. [21 Feb 2008|08:17pm]
[ mood | cold ]

I forgot my work shirt today. It's unbelievable how something so petty can make you feel so terrible. I was actually thinking, "If I end my life now, I won't have to admit I'm a complete idiotic failure." I was being extremely irrational, and snapped back to reality after a few seconds, but still...over a shirt? Really? I still felt like a complete ass when I asked to borrow one. I'm only expected to remember two things...my shirt and myself, and I forgot half. Oh well, I think I'll survive. On a positive note, the loaner shirt smelled fruity.

Yesterday was my half birthday. I usually don't realize my half birthday has passed until April. It was pretty lame. If I didn't know better, I would have thought it was my actual birthday. Now there's less than six months until I'm 20. Weird. No more blaming my mistakes on being a teenager. "What did you expect?" Today is my mom's actual birthday. She's now 44 (hundred). This year, one of my younger sister's will be 11, my older sister 22, and my parents 44. They've been talking about this for the past 10 years, and now that it's arrived, it seems just as unimpressive as it did 10 years ago. (Ok, maybe it is kind of cool.) Well, this year I'll be turning 20 and my younger sister 15. Which means we'll both be divisible by 5.

Well like I said, it's my mom's birthday. We're not going out to dinner until 9, but I hear there's fondue. I'm out.


2 comments|post comment

Life. [06 Dec 2007|07:07pm]
[ mood | could be wamer. ]

I don't think I have posted a real posting in this blog for quite some time. Well, actually I know I haven't. I'd love to say it's because I've been very involved in orphan affairs, Stephen Colbert's campaign(South Carolina, you bastards!), the cure for cancer, etc. But to be honest, my life is a total bore, and I'm too busy with school/work/watching Transformers more times than is healthy, to care. So, I've decided to write about my day that should have happened, but unfortunately never did. (But still could.)

Today I woke up to the familiar smell of freshly brewed coffee. I despise the taste, but my butler James knows I can't resist the aroma. Sometimes I wonder whether I should run a more thorough background check on James. He treats me so well, and for so little. I whistled for Magic Carpet, who within seconds whisked me towards the hot breakfast James just finished preparing. Usually I prefer a cold meal on such a hot morning, but a gentle breeze found its way in, gracing my cheek and whispering, "worry not, enjoy that steaming pot. of oatmeal," assuring me James's work was not in vain. Before I knew it, DanRad was in my driveway, ready to car pool to work. Being a professional Oprah audience member is the greatest job in the world. It's so rewarding. Nate was on today (you can never get enough of him, right?), and he redecorated a jail suffering from a major decorating crisis. I know jails aren't supposed to be glamorous, but the after result made me want to go to that jail. I'm seriously considering committing a felony so I can live there. Not really, but if I was homeless, I'd go for it. Ooo..the quiche is ready.

If only. In reality right now I'm very delusional as I only slept about 2 hours last night. No, I'm not some crazy party animal, I was working on my history term paper I thought was due today. Long story short, it's not due until next week. Just another reason to hate that class. All semester, all I have retained is that Hitler enjoyed women defecating and urinating all over him. It's also rumored he had only one testicle. I really hope that's all the final covers, because then I am good to go.


ps. Does anyone still read this?
pps. If you do, we are SO making the Eh Team!

8 comments|post comment

I'm melting. [03 Sep 2007|10:51pm]
[ mood | leave owen alone ]

So humid right now. Watching the people on 'Fat Camp' sweat isn't helping, either. ahhhHHH. I can't even remember what I was going to type.. Remember on 'Recess' when Gus tells everyone about a ski trip he went on in order to cool everyone down? I think they were looking for a water fountain or sprinkler,or something. Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that this method doesn't work. I was trying to imagine myself in a grocery freezer, which made me think about frozen peas, which then made me think about a steaming pot of cooked peas. Sucks.

I went to the theatre a few weeks back, and half the theatre was filled with middle-aged men by themselves. Well, maybe it was more like one middle-aged man by himself. It affects me just the same. Especially when he's eating for two. Must be lonely. I can sort of empathize. In 6th grade no one wanted to see the Pokemon movie with me, but I desperately had to see it, so I went by myself. To add even more trauma, I was the only one in the theatre. Sad times.

I feel like an Otter Pop.

4 comments|post comment

[10 Jul 2007|05:07pm]
[ mood | happy ]

My childhood dream has come true. I own moon shoes.

Life is good.

2 comments|post comment

[26 Apr 2007|08:27am]
Can someone please explain this to me?

This one, too...

9 comments|post comment

[11 Apr 2007|04:19pm]
[mood| touched]

I had a holy experience last night. I saw MUSE at the Forum. The Second Coming of Christ could happen in my living room, and it wouldn't even compare. I'll never be the same.

p.s. I can't feel my arm.
2 comments|post comment

[31 Dec 2006|01:25pm]
Happy sixth day of Kwanzaa/New Years eve. Oh, the holiday season. The time of year where all of the family gets together..and dysfunction ensues. Last year we all got a lesson on the Maharishi and Boo Boo the bear. Which is why alcohol was limited this year. Also, I don't think cats are supposed to eat cat nip. Actually after watching my cat eat it, I know they're not. I remember my dad told me a story about how he and his sister tried to smoke catnip when they were younger. Apparently that does nothing, but when cats eat it they start frantically running up and down stairs, dragging their bodies across the floor, and attacking you in hopes you will give them more. Again, this could just be my cat.

Another thing, make sure you NEVER drink boba on an empty stomach. Because then you will take a large gulp, which will lead to three tapioca balls lodged in your throat. It was the single most scariest, funniest moment of my life. I couldn't stop choking because I was laughing, and I couldn't stop laughing because I was choking. I kept thinking 'I can't go out like this. Not like this.'

As of yesterday, I've decided that my life goal is to own a skee ball lane. Maybe two. Then if I want to play I won't be surrounded by grubby little kids who try to steal my tickets. I don't think it's a very unreasonable goal. If Coolio can win Fear Factor, anyone can really do anything.

And because it’s the season to be jolly, I scanned some pictures out of one of my favorite books, in hopes of adding some jolliness to your day.

hot and fresh out the kitchenCollapse )

8 comments|post comment

[22 Dec 2006|07:33pm]
[ mood | sad ]

R.I.P. Tower Records. I'll be missin you.

2 comments|post comment

... [12 Dec 2006|05:09pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Am i the only one who gets excited when they find a typo or grammatical error in a book? Probably. But OH how it excites me! Anyways, this was not the point of this entry.

I need to stop watching reality shows. Last Friday I came home and there was a 'House of Carters' marathon, and I watched the entire season start to finish. It's actually very therapeutic watching people more dysfunctional than me. And pretty funny. Oh so many memorable moments. But this is no excuse. I think I might write a letter to Dr. Phil for help. Actually.. I can exploit my addiction to meet Dr. Phil! Oh brain, I love you.

As much as I love tv, there is one show I recommend you never watch. I Pity The Fool. It's where Mr. T goes and spreads goodwill by changing people's lives. As much as I love Mr. T, he went total weak sauce on me. First of all, it's 'I pity da foo'!' not 'I pity the fool.' Second, no gold chains. Third, NO GOLD CHAINS. Why Mr. T, why? In one episode, he goes to a farm to help 3 out of control kids who have no respect for their parents. The kids didn't even have respect for Mr. T. They sprayed him with a hose or dumped a bucket of water on him, I can't remember which. And Mr. T did nothing. The Mr. T we all fell in love with would have whooped their asses and made them into tomorrow morning's omelette. And at the end of the episode he left us with this.. "If you don't want your son to act a fool, show him loving his momma is cool." Depress.

On a positive note, winter break begins tomorrow which means 6 weeks of sweet sweet BLISS! And by bliss I mean work.


8 comments|post comment

spreading the word [26 Nov 2006|02:02pm]
[ mood | hungry ]



10 comments|post comment

Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin. [15 Nov 2006|12:21pm]
[ mood | albino ]

this inspirational poster is at my school...

...i don't know if they intentionally made him look like Tyrone Biggums, but, yep, they did.

while i was cleaning, i found the $1 book my family bought from a homeless man at venice beach. i was looking for it forever! it's actually quite funny. it's about his mouse that he carries around in a cage. he self publishes at kinkos. i think the funniest people are the people who don't try to be funny. some people try too hard. coughdanecookcough.

matt tong collapsed a lung. AHH. bloc party had to cancel all of their dates for the 'nothing rhymes with circus' tour. NOO. i was hoping he'd be well enough to play the long beach show. [and not for selfish reasons. matt loves the LBC. vip records is his fave.] the whole bloc party opening for p!atd was quite odd. and the tour title contains one fatal error. something DOES rhyme with circus. nate berkus [oprah's whipping boy] rhymes with circus. i demand the tour be renamed 'nothing rhymes with orange,' which makes more sense. Obviously.

I've started a savings account. Hopefully I'll have enough saved up by next year to study abroad in London. YESYES! If not, then two years. Alls I know is I'll be there eventually. No more excessive wasting of monies.

Keep cool my babies.


14 comments|post comment

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice. [15 Oct 2006|08:24am]
[ mood | :] ]

Some people do not brush their teeth enough. Those people should not ask me for help. I'm paid to help you, but sometimes, honestly, all the money in the world isn't worth it. Throwing up in my mouth tastes gross. And sometimes, I think the smell seeps into my pores. Some people should also wax their excess hair. E.g. unibrows, sideburns, and lady beards. I'm not judging. If you feel sexy, do what you want. It's just, if you want other people to think you're sexy... Actually I really don't care anymore. Two sentences ago I did, but I think since then I have come to the realization that without bearded ladies, or the two eyes: one brow-ed people, we'd all be the same. Well, no, I take that back. I don't really know what I'm getting at. Diversity appreciation, maybe?

I mumble a lot. A LOT. I should really work on that.

Books! I dunno if I ever told you this, but books are the greatest gift one person can give another. -Bono.

I need to read U2 BY U2. That's all I really want to do right now.

October fuuuuuun. >>>

5/ can't remember. ?
4/ michael scott
3/ loverboy on vinyl?! mine!
2/ YYY / BLOOD BROTHERS @ THE PALLADIUM [sunday sunday sunday]
1/ YYY / BLOOD BROTHERS @ THE PALLADIUM [monday fuuuunday] !!!!!!!!!!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs & MUSE are the greatest live bands, ever. That I've seen anyways. QUEEN would have been a fucking sight to see. If i had a time machine, that would be fresh.

skip skip.


9 comments|post comment

Is a clean colon the secret to health and vitality? [03 Sep 2006|01:25pm]
[ mood | ? ]

If I hear/see another reference to Snakes On A Plane, I am going to lose it. [A la Vincent Libretti of Project Runway. My future will consist of being turned on by dresses made of trash and becoming extremely elated over a handmade doggie hat.]

Mothafuckin' snakes on a Mothafuckin' plane! Ahaha. Mothafuckin' Snakes on a Mothafuckin' plane! Oh, haha. Mothafuckin' Snakes on a mothafuckin' plane Ha. Mothafuckin' Snakes on a mothafuckin' plane! Yes.. MOTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES ON A MOTHAFUCKIN' PLANNNNNE! Aaaaaaah.

Consulting a psychiatrist is expensive. Does anyone remember the show Forgive Or Forget? With Mother Love. Well, if I was on that show, and Samuel L. Jackson was asking for my forgiveness, I would not be behind the door. Same goes for Pete Wentz.

Five things that have been keeping me sane.

Panic! At The Disco. I'll admit I was one of those people who categorized P! as a shit emo band before ever listening to them. I started listening to them in May, then saw them play in Santa Barbara, and fell in love. I have an unhealthy affinity for keyboards and men in makeup.

be your own PET. <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 oh 6-2-3 now don't judge me. we're spittin' our sleaze across the safety. no new ideas they're all the same here. and then shake your shit and open your ears.

Big Brother All Stars. I wish my life was this funny. You can't script this stuff. Holy crap. Chilltown 4 life!

Blind Date. I forgot how much I loved Blind Date. Laughing at people is so much fun.

Neighbors with unprotected wireless internet. Hell yes.

I turned 18. I started school the day after my birthday, so you can all imagine how exciting that was. I bought a french porn magazine and read it in the park while smoking cigarettes wrapped in lottery tickets. Freedom is so awesome. Still haven't registered to vote.

I have work in an hour. bleh...


p.s. lolz. I feel special.

14 comments|post comment

yeees [10 Aug 2006|02:03pm]
14 comments|post comment

[ mood | sleepy ]



We Are Scientists + Arctic Monkeys = SUPER FANTASTISCHE x INFINITY.

I waited outside in a line for 5 hours in 96 degree weather. [And I have no sunburn to show for it. Sunscreen is one of the greatest inventions ever. ] When we first arrived we were in the shade, creating the façade of a 70-something degree day, but as time progressed the shade slowly disappeared, exposing some very pale bodies to the cruel heat. 5 hours seems a bit extreme, but it actually flew by very fast. [Thank you 20 Questions.] One spectacle was an old man who had seemingly run his cart into a pothole by accident. But as it turns out he had intentionally done it. He set up a table, removed all of the goods from his cart, and then within an hour had a portable business running. He had everything from candy to tamales. At first business was slow. [A bit disheartening.] But then it was booming. He’s like Oprah, except male, and not dating a gay man.

Because the heat was unbearable, the venue passed out free tap water.

4 hours in, my sister and I walked to the McDonalds down the street to use the bathroom. On the way there, a bus drove by and this amazing gust of air blew on us. It was the dirtiest air imaginable [probably the equivalent of smoking 10 cigarettes simultaneously], but it felt so good. When we finally got into the bathroom, a one toothed lady informed us of the stalls lacking toilet paper. God bless her, because sitting down in a stall and not realizing it has no toilet paper until you need it is horrifying. Also, I think the Asian mafia was having a meeting there because two-thirds of the McDonalds was full and 99% of them were Asian and scary looking. And McDonalds isn’t exactly the typical family reunion venue.

On the way back, a dude who looked like the dude from Korn asked if we needed tickets. I think he actually was the dude from Korn. Stupid Korn dude scalping tickets.

They finally let us in around 8 pm.

Sadly Chunky Monkey was not there. Some girls had made a get well card for him, so my sister and I signed it. Although, who knows if he’s really “recovering.” Alex and Jamie told KROQ that he is pursuing his dream of writing and directing a Sonic the Hedgehog musical. I prefer this to be the truth.

Then 9 pm rolled around.

a visual orgasmCollapse )

one look sends it coursing through the veinsCollapse )

-dr. dre-

32 comments|post comment

jake gyllenhaal, etc. [17 May 2006|09:12am]
[ mood | ? ]

Hello. Hmm..I don’t really know what to write. I went into a hospital the other day, and it smelled like bologna. And the lady with the headset was mean. The highlight of the past 18 years of her life was her cat’s pregnancy. And she talks about nonexistent friends with her coworkers to make herself feel better. [This is all speculation.] I hate hospitals. I haven’t actually had to be admitted into one since I was a young, medically messed up child. Oh, and that time I overdosed in Mexico. [On their water.]

I can’t believe high school is actually ending. Everyone’s off to college. Or the army. [Who by the way, had the nerve to call me AGAIN after I said I was not interested, AGAIN. Army call count: 8. If they call again, I’m saying I’m a blind vegetarian transvestite with herpes. That should scare them away. Although desperate times do call for desperate measures. Eh, I’ll just say I passed away. You can’t really enlist a dead person in the army. But I bet they’re hard at work trying to find a loophole in that one.]

Did anyone see the finale of Survivor? Terry the Mangina lost! Ahahahaha. I didn’t really care who won, as long as that bastard lost. Arrogant people piss me off. Have a slice of humble pie and watch an episode of Oprah for chrissakes.

& Myspace is evil. I wish it would just die. Not really. Maybe. I don’t know. What happened to people actually talking to each other? I suppose it is good for music, but people? Maybe I’m just a party pooper.

I’m gonna go eat some Special K Red Berries.


p.s. this dude looks like a redneck Carl Barât.

20 comments|post comment

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